As a new mother, I can say that nothing could truly have prepared me for the experience of becoming a parent.
I did all the classes, bought all the accessories, outfits etc, decorated the nursery and read all the books, but at the end of the day, it's still a MASSIVE shock to the system!!
He sure is cute though!!!
Shock number 1: Sleep Deprivation
After a painful C-Section and an exhausting day, the biggest thing on my mind was a good night's sleep and time to rest and recover....but sadly the realisation hits me - I will never (in the next few years at least) have an undisrupted night of sleep again!!! Arggggghh!!!
At least for now (who am I kidding, forever...), I have coffee, lots of coffee....delicious coffee.
Shock number 2: Complete and Utter Dependence
"Maybe I'll just pop out got a coffee and a pedicure" I think to myself..... uh oh, will the pram fit next to the spa pedi chair!? Can the bub stay quiet while the beautician sloughs my hooves!? Will I get dirty looks from the other patrons if he cries!?!? The end result? No pedicures....ever again!! (or for at least a few years).
Shock number 3: The one hour window
A newborn baby needs to be fed approximately every two hours....but no one mentions that this two hour timeframe is from the start of the previous feed, and that feeding a newborn baby can take about one hour....this gives me a one hour window to leave the house before young Dash is crying and hungry again...by the time I pack a gigantic bag of baby related accessories, assemble the pram, get out the door, the hour is up :(
Shock number 4: I will never travel light again
So I bought myself a stylin' Mimco baby bag in an attempt to look like a stylin' new mama...little did I know that just a couple of months later my sleek new bag would weigh about 10kg and be splitting at the seams... I had so little space left, I even left my Aesop hand cream at home *cries*! What has become of me!?!?
I also seem to manage to get stuck in doorways on regular occasions because of the large girth of my bag and accidentally took out several jars of unsuspecting jam in the supermarket recently *runs and hides behind the smallgoods section*.
Shock number 5: I pretty much can't wear anything in my closet any more
Although it seems obvious, I didn't think about planning a breastfeeding friendly wardrobe for post birth...now every time I put something on, I have to think about how I can breastfeed in public without ending up half naked in a cafe. This rules out pretty much all dresses and many tops!!
....and when I do finally find a breast accessible top, I have to consider that it's highly likely to will be covered in milk/spit-up/wiz in probably about 10 minutes, I kid you not!!!
Shock number 6: A newborn baby poops pretty much every time he eats
Stay tuned for part two of this post, with some tips I've learned for adjusting to life post baby!!